How to express appreciation.

How to express the kind of appreciation I feel in lieu of this research is beyond me. But I am going to try...

I want to share a little bit about my experience online. For those of you who have read all my entries, sorry if this is repeatative ( so - basically, Professor Forte...). In terms of my research methodology, following publicly as 'Beatrice Button' made me really nervous. I was afraid of disrupting and upsetting bloggers. In fact, I know that I have been an upsetting presence for some. But, what I have discovered, and I find this aspect incredibly amazing, is the honesty and openness with which I have been welcomed in this community.
I want to thank all of those bloggers who have commented on my entries, e-mailed messaged me and been helpful in answering my questions. I love when I get comments suggesting I look at a certain book, or read a certian blog, or when there have been corrections on my own interpretations. Thank you for engaging me.

I want to say that this community is deeply moving. I feel torn in a hundred different directions when I start to assess my own feelings on what is happening here. I see a lot of complex relationships that exist in this community. It has inspired me to do more research on the subject and hopefully be active in working in the feild. For those bloggers whose entries I have read through, I commend your honesty and bravery in dealing with such an affliction. I wish you nothing but the best of health in your futures and happiness.

Alot of the future

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the future. Perhaps it is just that time of year. The semester is close to wrapping up in final. I am going to be done my undergraduate career. This blog might take a serious back seat. But it is the future I am still interested in. Where does this leave the rest of the ED online community? How long does one count calories and take unsustainable measures in order to lose weight quickly? How long can this go on? As some members exit new bloggers will enter. And as online communities flourish, where are the new places this community will thrive?

From what I understand Ana is a precarious feature (or dare I say 'creature') in one's life. There seems to be a comfort, a sense of control, in maintaining the behavior. But the cost of ones physical and mental health is great. So where does recovery fit into this picture? How can, or does the blogging community help facilitate healthier eating and body image?

What immediately strikes me is the support on blog comments when someone meets a weight loss goal using unhealthy methods. There is also much encouragement when someone feels down about their body image. I am highly critical that these trends work to help people find outside support when the behavior is normalized and encouraged online.

I am also aware that certain bonds are made online. How does one address the fact that perhaps they have recovered, or are in recovery to the online community? Can one maintain such relationships. It is this exit from the community, to a future without eating disorders that intrigues me. Especially when we consider how this community might interpret such transitions.

The Confession, The Chronicle & The Crystallization

I recently had a really interesting conversation with Dr. Marc LaFrance about some authors regarding this topic. Of course when discussing the body and the experience of the body it is hard to ignore Foucault. While I am not a well-read Foucauldian, I feel like I have a strong enough grip on what he is saying from secondary sources to briefly discuss some ideas here. 

As we brought up in class during presentations, there is something verging on the religious about aspects of this community that cannot be ignored. Such undercurrents are not so obvious in the blog community but on some of the sites I visited there is 'Ana's Psalm', 'The 10 commandments', The personification of Ana as someone who 'watches over' as well as Angel imagery. Perhaps this next posit is a stretch, but indulge me:

There is something about blogs and the anonymity of their authors that is similar to the confession. As modern science replaced religion as the institution responsible for the health of citizens, science kept an important religious practice - the confession - replacing the priest with the physician or psychiatrist. Similarly, the blog community includes this 'confessional' practice. From a more functional/ practical perspective this can be read as a way to not only assert one's legitimacy as a member of the group, but alleviate feelings of alienation and work through personal issues with food and eating.

With that said, there is the trend of Chronicling. Using Foucault as a platform, but moving in a different direction, Mark LaFrance introduced me to a useful resource entitled "Foucault goes to Weigh Watchers" by Cressida Heyes. Here she talks about the way that Weight Watchers requires you to 'chronicle' all of your caloric intake and expenditure. There is a handy point system and all. What she pointed out, as a feminist scholar doing an 'experiment' by trying this program, was the unexpected pleasure she got from reaching her WW goals. The result of this program was a textual representation of her body and how she was able to modify and change her weight and figure. Similarly on the blog community there is a tendency for entries to consist solely of, or be introduced by, a chronicle of calories consumed (sometimes what was purged, which does not negate calories - although this is a common misconception) as well as calories expended. Again, we see a self-surveillance, chronicling and textual record of the body from such practices. 

Finally, we might consider another perspective from the feminists. Susan Bordeaux's seminal work "Anorexia Nervosa: Psychopathology as the Crystallization of Culture" talks about how in many ways anorexia and eating disorders more generally hold a mirror up to society to reflect the demands it puts on women. While this certainly is an aspect of anorexia and other eating disorders, such a theory strips women of agency. Surely the confession and chronicling in these blogs communities represent the pressure many women feel to attain a specific body, as well as the obsessive desire and extreme measure they will engage in to achieve this perceived 'perfection' but the ways in which many young women speak of their disorders on these blogs might challenge Bordo's posit. There is no indication that these girls are putting the onus on the media and society. This is a dimension of the eating disorder and an indirect factor, yes, but to reduce behavior to a cultural bottom line seems an oversimplification.

Some Thoughts On The Presentation

I would like to start by saying that I was happy that I had more time to present and I hope that it did not bore anyone. Because this topic is sensitive it was really helpful to have time to preface and outline some of the caveats of this online community as well as discussing Eating Disorders in general.
I would like to address a few things in lieu of my presentation. Firstly, I think that I should give thanks to Owen Wiltshire for encouraging me to use my blog as a way to interact as well as talking to me about blogs and their implications more generally. Thanks Owen!
I also want to say that there is a lot that I did not have a chance to discuss. I felt it was important to introduce the online community and because this is such a detailed task, I did not get to talk about some of the more theoretical aspects of my research, or go into the kind of detail I had hoped about further questions I am developing. I think that Dr. Forte's suggestions that I continue (and expand upon) my interactions in the community will help answer and develop further questions. But, I suppose I should claify. Dr. Forte - do you suggest I expand my research location to include sites outside of blogs (such as livejournal, personal websites, etc?) Or should I continue, focus and cultivate my research on blogging?
In terms of theory, which I did not have much time to talk about, there are a few places from which I am drawing a framework. As I discussed, I am working with J.T. Allen's Thesis entitled "'Pro-Ana' As Negotiating (Dis)Order in Cyberspace: How Women Reproduce, Restructure, And Challeng 'Psy' Discouse" (2006). Her chapter's on Pro-Anorexia & Cyberspace and her concluding chapters on Struggle with Classification and Restructuring Anorexia have been particularly useful in my understanding of this online community.
As well, I have found many resources on NEDIC (they publish a series of informative articles written by healthcare professional) on a range of topics (including online communities).
I am also consulting some literature on the normalization of body dissatisfaction (this text was actually recommended to me by a 'blogger' I am following- thanks!).

The focus of my paper I think will be oriented towards contradictions that I find present in the communities. Such contradictions exist from the very disclaimers many of these websites have: "Do not enter if you don't have an eating disorder" in many ways acts as an invitation.
The contradicting definitions of what 'pro-ana' means is another example of such dissention. Oppositions between medical definitions and pro-ana definitions are also examples. Dr. Forte brought up another intersting point about the 'religious' undertones with a prodominantly secular group of people. As well there is the common theme of extremes: fat and thin, perfection and failure, hunger and satiation, control and chaos.

The Body in Space

The Body in Cyberspace VS Real Space.

How does one construct the body in both? Is virtual space a place that we can remake our bodies and construct a conception that is acceptable? In real space, certain bodies are deemed taboo, or disordered, inappropriate or the focus of (un)wanted attention. Here we might consider that cyberspace offers a place in which one can re-construct and re-conceptualize the body.
Jodi Toni Allen's Thesis entitled "Pro-Ana as Negotiating (Dis)order in cyberspace: how women reproduce, restructure, and challenge 'Psy' discourse" (which has been fantastically helpful as a basis of my readings) posits that the Pro-Ana community - as it relates to specific websites such as Cerulean Butterfly and Ana's Underground Grotto (which as far as I can tell no longer exists) - ultimately challenges the labels of 'diseased' and 'disordered' by reclaiming them. Without summarizing, I would like to explicate a key point of her research being that there are linkages to how self-perception and self-presentation online can and does challenge the medical and psychology professional community that gives EDs titles and diagnosis that may have negative impacts.

In 'real' space, we might consider that the body is always constructed and is always social. Anthony Synnott's text "The Body Social: Symbolism, Self and Society" discusses the body in social, real space. As summed up concisely:
...the body has been, and still is, constructed in almost as many ways as there are individuals; it seems to be all things to all people. Thus the body is defined as good or bad; tomb or temple...private or public...a corpse or the self...Any construction of the body, however, is also a construction of the self as embodied; and as such, influences not only how the body is treated but also how life is lived. Some love the body, some hate it; some hide it, some flaunt it; some 'bruise' it (Paul) and others pamper it with 'nice, large pike and good Rhine wine' (Luther)...Indeed implications are immense, affecting virtually all areas of one's life. At present there is no consensus on the meaning of the body and, in a pluralistic society, to consensus can be expected. constructions reflect the values not only of the culture, but also of the sub-culture, and of the specific individuals, and they are ever-changing [sic]. Thus the discourse continues, debating whether and to what degree, and in what ways, the body is tomb or temple, loved or hated, personal or state property, machine or self (Synnott, Anthony. "The Body Social: Symbolism, Self and Society" London: Routledge, 1993. Pg. 37).

These two texts are very helpful in underpinning this project, however, there is much literature on not only the body, but EDs in general, as well cyberspace commuities. I am really working on trying to get a strong theoretical framework form which to assess my reading, interacting and interviews.

As a side note, I am also currently doing some reading on constructions of the 'Tantric body' for a class on Hindu religious practices. That the body is inherently social is also cross-cultural. Here I offer an example from Gavin Flood's text "The Tantric Body: The Sectret Tradition of Hindu Religion" in his discussion of the expectations for the body of the renouncer that has historically influenced the 'tantric body': "The body is a vehicle for a successful life, but only through its strict control and avoidance of impurity and spontaneous desire" (Flood, Gavin. "The Tantric Body: The Sectret Tradition of Hindu Religion" London: I.B. Taurus, 2006. Pg. 40). Here is talking about the ascetic body, and its control, its concern for maintaining purity, controlling impulses and so on. As I was reading about this 'out of context' body, something about this idea really resonated with this project.

Some distinctions that must be made

I want to clarify some details for a few other bloggers that have recently commented on my posts (and, again thank you for your comments). I want to just quickly say though, and apologize, if I have been using the term 'Pro-Ana' incorrectly. I know that this is a term that is contentious, but also has changed throughout the years. When I use 'pro-ana' I have been using it to delineate both those sites that define themselves as such, but also those blogs that use some of the same codes as these sites (such as posting 'thinspiration', talk about tips and diets, posting body measurements in the same way, as well as creating a network of support). I realize, thanks to your blogs and comments, that there is a difference between the blog community and 'pro-ana' community, as it is a space that is not judgemental and somewhere to simply express what you are going through. I can totally appreciate that the two worlds are different. Yet, they share a lot of similar traits... any thoughts?

-BB

FOLLOW ME!

I have started to follow some bloggers as "Beatrice Button" thus disclosing my position as a 'cyberspace researcher'. I have chosen to follow publicly.

Remember all the difficulty I had gaining access to websites and forums? The blog community is alive and well - and finds me 'interesting'! Amazing! I was so worried about disrupting or upsetting authors, but now I am a part of the discussion and many of my worries as a researcher reading and commenting on these blogs (not as an ED blogger myself) have dissappated. I actually feel quite welcome and therefore not as nervous about is thought of me because of my position as a student researcher.
I am finally feeling like I am really interacting with this community of bloggers. Perhaps a little late in the game, but it is better late than never. Everyone has been really kind, honest and welcoming. Thank you!

What does Pro-Ana Mean?

There is an issue I have recently come across that clearly needs addressing: What does Pro-Ana mean?

The way the word is used makes it seem that the PRO in Pro-Ana can be interpreted in many ways. There is a difference between being 'pro' Ana, and simply dealing with Ana. In an early, and eventually inconclusive, series of e-mails I had with "Elise" (pseudonym), she initially told me "the term "pro-Ana" has evolved among the eating disorder community to mean something much different than the general public thinks it does."
For some (but not as many as one may think), it seems that pro does not mean 'positive' or 'promoting' - rather the eating disorder is simply accepted in ones life and lifestyle. This means that individuals may or may not identify as 'pro-Ana' while still participating in the community.
From what I am gathering, pro-Ana means that Ana is present. Whether Ana is something that 'empowers' or 'pains' an individual, Ana is confronted and discussed online. Pro-Ana also seems to be a broad category of community, under which many individuals fall whether or not they identify as 'pro-Ana' but who may simply be dealing with an ED and expressing this aspect of their individuality online.

I also want to say, if anyone wants to add to my understanding of the PRO of Pro-Ana please comment!

Refining my Research: Narrowing the locus

I have been reflecting a lot lately on everything I have encountered in the past weeks of research. In assessing my research process I have realized that, rather organically, I am able to refine the locus of my research. As discussed in previous posts, I have had difficulty gaining access, I have had issues with ethics; finding the 'heart' of this community has been challenging given its unique history- I have been thinking that perhaps it is dead indeed. Lately I have settled into a community of bloggers (rather than focussing on the 'pro-ana sites' themselves). The plethora of material has meant that I am now trying to narrow my focus. 

With my presentation and the research paper looming in the near distance I am looking at my data and trying to look at how I might present my findings and experiences. So, without detracting from the range of community members, I am starting to look at where and how some bloggers and some sites are similar in their approach and experience, and to feature one or two bloggers, sites and online phenomenon associated with this community. 

Since this community has experienced a significant transformation I think it is important to highlight a representation that best exemplifies the features of each transition.  

To briefly outline:

1) I will start by looking at the history of this community. The pro-ana community takes root in more explicit sites than what we see now. By looking at some of research of older, more 'hardcore' sites as well as research and media in reaction to these sites I will be able to track the subsequent transitions in this community.

2) In order to preface a study of this community, it is imperative to have a strong understanding of Eating Disorders and the social/pshycological features of such diseases. 

3) I will outline the demographic that I am studying. 

4) I will look at some of the sites that are currently 'pro-ana' and outline their features, as well as some of the 'on-goings' on these sites.

5) It is interesting to see how 'pro-ana' sentiments permeate other parts of cyberspace (youtube, "bootcamps", and now, blogs)....

6) The pro-ana sentiment is prominent in the blog community and I have been following a few that I find interesting. 

There have been many obstacles in this research so far that have made it difficult to gain access to the community, the first and most prominent being that I do not have an eating disorder. Many, if not most, of the sites have a disclaimer reading: "If you do not have an eating disorder, do not enter"

However, much of the reading and research I have done has given me some interesting insights that I look forward to sharing next monday...

 

Hello! 

To respond to one of the comments recently left regarding the 'safety' of pro-ana sites, as well as addressing the important question as to whether or not shutting down these sites is good or bad, I have some food for thought (no pun intended).

I do agree with 'Lady Camela's' comment that, yes, these sites do provide a safe community for girls who are experiencing alienation and stigma in the 'real' social world. In many ways, cyber space is one of the few spaces where many people dealing with EDs can come together and discuss, support and deal with the traumas they are encountering. It is, as you pointed out, a fine line between support and distruction. And yes, I do agree that one must want to recovery before seeking real and professional help. With this in mind, I might also address the issue as to whether shutting such sites down is good or bad. From my research I have learned that during what I deem to be the hey day of these sites (during the late 1990's), these sites were far more graphic and dangerous compared to what we see now. For that reason Yahoo closed down the sites for violating the terms of use; the violations were predicated on 'causing harm'. In this way we might very well see that this was a proactive decision. But again, there is this issue of community and safety that these sites do provide. I am starting to conceptualize these sites as liminal spaces that have the potential to push an individual in several directions in terms of their eating disorder and body concept. I have noticed for some they realize and question the danger of these sites and the problems with sharing information in this way, while others feel good about the fact that others are in the same situation and, in a state of distorted self-perception understand that encouraging others to reach their weight goals is a good thing. 

There is still lots here to untangle and think about critically. I hope this answers some questions for those who have left comments (thanks, by the way) and that we might start to think about the functions and potential dangers/ benefits of these communities.

I am what I eat. More than calories create the body.

Participant Observation is a difficult undertaking when exploring this online community as it would literally involve acquiring an eating disorder - something I am just not prepared to do. But as I read these blogs of about food intake and exercise I am trying to understand where I fit in as an 'outsider' and how I can relate to this community more effectively. 

So I have devised a way to attempt at understanding what it might be like to not only have a preoccupation with food and exercise, but also to self-disclose on the internet. I am working on a challenging experiment. I am taking note of my caloric intake from food, and what I expend during exercise and I will post it online after four days. I was also thinking of calculating my own BMI and figuring out what my caloric intake/ expenditure might have to be to be underweight. 

Today is the first day of this experiment. So far, I have to say, this is difficult. Not only to find the caloric value of all the foods I eat, but to remember each thing that I eat ( I am trying to write it down) as well as to get an accurate measure of how many calories I expend. I am a little nervous about disclosing this as I have already discovered that my own eating habits verge on ridiculous. For example, today  I ate three 'steamies' and fries for lunch and in doing this experiment I feel myself hyper-aware of their caloric value whereas I otherwise wouldn't think twice about downing hot dogs and fries for lunch (delicious!).

Another issue that has been on my mind lately in researching the pro-ana community is the dissention between what we put in our mouths, how much we exercise, and the shape of bodies. There is this assumption it seems, that food it directly related to body size. This simply is not the case. There are so many other factors that are involved to body size, such as body type, age, hormones, access to healthy foods and lifestyle. I think of a friend who is the size of a minute, but can eat like a true champion, and other friends who diet compulsively or watch carefully what they eat and yet are unable to shed pounds. Ultimately what is at work for the people involved in this community is an distorted self-perception as well as unhealthy eating habits. There are, as I am learning, a number of reasons why people develop eating disorders, but as I have tried to express in this post, there is a myth surrounding food/calories as being the sole factors that shape the body. 

The golden ticket!

Remember how I was all "I can't get access to the sites I need... what to do? What to do?"

Remember how I was all "Wow - youtube really has a lot of 'pro-ana' videos..."?

Remember how I was all "These sites seem to have had their hey-day...."?

For about the month of February I waited for reponses, looked on open forums, but was feeling like my research was pretty thin (no pun intended). Then it hit me like a big ton of bricks. These sites might be shut, but the videos are still being posted... the girls are still out there. According to literature on the pro-ana online community, the sites facilitated a space in which young women can express and support their struggles, successes without judgement, and without the threat of being 'turned in' for treatment. Thus there will always be a need for the community no matter how perverse it may seem to an outsider. It seems that the Pro-Ana community is moved to no other than BLOGGER!!! Type in pro-ana blog on goggle and you'll get tons of links; look at who is following each other and it becomes very apparent that everything that the 'pro-ana' websites once facilitated is now happening through blogging and (for me, at least) this is a far more concise and expressive way of interacting. 

I will leave this post a bit short here, but I will update with more details soon.

And it all started when....

The phenomenon of the Pro-Anorexia web community has seen its hey day. The sites existed as an underground and secret community. It was not until the early 2000's that such sites got media exposure. At this point many were shut down. Yahoo and other hosts claimed that they had violated their user agreements not to post anything dangerous and harmful. The exposure of such sites caused an uproar in the media. The sites changed the way that many healthcare professionals were to deal with girls in treatment. More importantly for online members and website hosts, their identity, function and practices would have to be renegotiated. 

Many sites are now inactive and the sites that do exist lead to dead links. This has been a frustrating aspect of research, but it also speaks to not only the way in which these sites are subject to closure, but also to the fact that there seems to be an ambivalence towards eating disorders themselves. A common theme that permeates these sites is the inconsistency between Anorexia as a lifestyle and Ana as a burden. The turmoil expressed must reach a certain point until many of these girls and women seek treatment (this is a common pattern for those who suffer with EDs). These two factors, (sites being shut down as well as their authors abandoning the community to seek treatment) would explain the sudden inactivity. 

Feeling 'Thinspired'?

During my first year of university at the University of Victoria, I lived in residence. Every Tuesday night the girls who lived in my dorm and I would get all of our favorite junky food - pizza, chocolate milk, sour patch kids, and my personal fave, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - settle into the commons room with our pillows, in sweatpants, and watch America's Next Top Model. As we watched we would laugh, snicker and snack. The whole point of this activity was to revel in our caloric intake while these girls jumped through the hoops of modeling, hungering through the day, pouting their lips, positioning their bony hips and hollowing their tummies.

I have taken to the same tactic when exploring the Pro-Ana sites. A bowl of popcorn and a diet coke arm me as I sit and look through pages of blogs, pictures and poetry. I feel like I need this food, kind of like we girls did while watching AMTM, to remind me that food is good, that it is great actually! This practice I have taken on has led me to realize that I am sensitive to this issue, and thus need to deal with it certain ways. That said, I would like to discuss a feature of these sites that is common across the board: THINSPIRATION.

What is 'thinspiration'? As the name suggests, it is thin-inspriation. This component of the sites is a photo gallery. These galleries feature either photos of the girls themselves and celebrities. Particularly popular for their thinness is Mary Kate Olsen, Nichole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Hillary Duff, Kira Knightly. 

Apparently you don't even need to visit these sites to get thinspired - just type in the word at youtube and there are so many videos made by Ana-Mia girls. 

If you're feeling sensitive, I suggest the candy armor tactic before checking these sites out:

www.prettythin.com/morethinspiration.htm

http://quodmenutritmedestruit.bravehost.com/realthinsps2.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9KSf1DbG8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGjJ20vWX7o&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?c=jLqsGWOSYDk&feature=related

Feeling 'Thinspired'?

Access and Ethics!

Was I ambitious to choose such a loaded subject? I think that I might have been more ridiculous than ambitious...

I have been met with more challenges and frustrations that I had anticipated.

Accessibility has proven to be problematic, and has exacerbated my concerns about conducting this research ethically. It seems that these sites, while active, are not as active as they were about 2 years ago. Many web rings and link pages have dead links. Many of the sites and blogs have not been updated for some time (1-2 years). The forums I have gained access to are often not frequented. The last time I logged into 'glitter veins' I was one of three users. It seems that these sites had a veritable hey-day and their popularity has dwindled significantly. 

Speaking of access, I had an interesting experience lately. In attempting to gain access to a forum, I was asked to 'apply'. This meant that I had to fill out a detailed form that required me to disclose my 'eating disorder' (ED) as well as explanation of my desire to join the group. The application was prefaced by a disclaimer that warned against fakers (aka- people like me!). Needless to say, I was confused. I am not about to pose as someone who has an eating disorder, but as a young female, is it unethical to say that sometimes I struggle with my body image? This was the route I took in the explanation part, just to see if I would be approved. I haven't heard back. I didn't make the cut.

I have contacted all of the 'web-mistresses' or hosts of these sites and only one woman has e-mailed me back. She seemed eager to exchange thoughts as well as to dispell the myths around these sites. However, she has not returned any of my subsequent e-mails. 

Another access/ ethical issue I have is that many of the girls on these sites are really young. I'm talking 12-15 years old. There is something about this age group that makes me particularly tentative. 

So while I can't gain access by being 'one of the group' in any legitimate way, I was thinking of a new approach to my participation. I thought that maybe I would simply start posting links to 'recovery sites', or information clinics and see what kind of reaction surfaces. Perhaps if I did this in the least threatening way I can think of it will be helpful. Any thoughts? please!?

Getting Started

I suppose it is about time to share my research topic and some of my initial questions and issues. 

I have chosen to research the pro-Ana and pro-AnaMia online community. For those who are unfamiliar, Ana refers to Anorexia and Mia refers to Bulimia and the community celebrates and encourages disordered eating. Such sites and the online community were quite popular some years ago, but in the past few years they have become fewer and farther between, enjoying less popularity and more censorship. The reason I chose this topic was because I was interested in exploring something controversial. More central to this choice was an interest in the way the online, virtual location of the community, was a place/space in which bodies, their symbols and meanings can be renegotiated in very specific ways. Such negotiations are close to impossible in actual world. The celebration of disordered eating and of unhealthy body image seems an important place to focus research because it highlights and gives insight into the mind and body that suffers from a prevalent health issue. They also provide a place for people who are suffering, likely feeling immensely lonely, a place to find people who share a common struggle. I want specifically to look at how this online community is constructed, how it is used and how interpersonal connections are made; I am interested in the function and desires it serves as well as the social dynamic that such sites produce. 

As you may have assumed, a choice for methodology that considers the ethical concerns of this research has been difficult. From my own perspective, I find going to these sites incredibly challenging as their content is shocking. Of course I would like to think that I would be able to remain neutral, but I admit, I do feel strongly about issues concerning eating disorders and body image. For this reason, the way in which I choose to 'participate' warrants considerable thought and sensitivity. It is difficult then to engage in forums or chats and not disclose my position as an 'observer' or researcher. If some young girl were to engage with me, asking who I am, I think I would feel very uncomfortable responding. For this reason, I have contacted individual blog authors as well as many of the 'webmistresses' of these sites requesting interviews via e-mail. So far, I have one respondent willing to collaborate. 

To start, I have taken an inventory of as many of these sites and blogs as possible. Many links are dead and many sites are simply no longer active. For the ones I have accessed I have made lists of their component parts, cross listing similarities and differences (so many of these sites contain the same information) in order to compile and analyze what elements create cohesion and community for its members. I hope that through textual analysis, interviews and observing interactions I can begin to make some headway. 

On a more personal note, I have found myself deeply saddened by the content of these sites. I think this an aspect of research I did not anticipate. The initial shock I felt confronting such sites is over, and now, I find myself emotionally confused over their content. The exhaustion I feel when looking through pictures of 'thinspiration', looking through daily menus that do not exceed 400 calories, tips on how to starve onself, or purge effectively in private and silence, or reading teenage poetry has been overwhelming to say the least. Perhaps I need to reassess my own position. Any thoughts?